Friday, 1 June 2012

Hello


“Hello. This has been going on for some time now. It’s just not good enough, I go through the same thing everyday with you people. I know it’s not your fault, not even your doing. You are only trying to get through the day, pay the bills and get your job done. I understand the issues at hand here I really do.
The boiler is broken, making some clanking sound, there is no hot water and I’m sat here with a draft running the entire length of my spine. I know all the names of the baristas at the local the coffee shop because that’s where I have to go to warm up my insides. Steven even puts a little heart on top of my Latte now, I was worried to begin with, but I’m sure it’s for pity rather than lust. I feel like Norm from Cheers whenever I walk in because they all shout ‘Dave!’ as I walk in.
I know you can’t do anything about this. It’s my own fault I have a contract so I can’t just up and leave. It would however be nice if I felt just once that the ‘powers that be’ were on my side. But I know it’s not just me, all the folks here agree that it’s terrible. Some of them make it worse of course. Whining, loudly. Mostly in my ear using language I can’t describe. I fought for this country. Well I thought about joining the TA once in 1983 but that’s beside the point. I don’t deserve this.
To top it all my computer is down again, I know that’s nothing to do with you either. Do computers like cold though, really? They are hardly a technical equivalent of that bloke off the TV, Bear… Bear.. Grylls yes that’s him, thank you. First sign of any difficulty and the most helpful thing it can offer is a blue screen. But I digress, the computer being down I can’t access any of the records, so I can only offer vague dates and information.  
But sorry I’m going on.. Welcome to EnerGie UK Call centre. My name is Dave. How may I help you?”