The brisk north wind whistled through my hair. It planted icy but fleeting kisses on my face as it carried on its way towards warmer climbs. I looked at my watch, it was late, it had taken me longer to climb the stairs than I had thought. Of course I wouldn’t have had to climb them at all if the lift had been working, I don’t know why I even factored that into my plan, damn thing never worked.
Only thing with it being later is that it was now dark, I’d never been up here in the darkness before. I would usually have had my phone what with it’s built in light but that was safely at home. Offshoot being that I spent the best part of forty minutes fumbling about with doors and locks that I’d opened with ease thousands of times before in more illuminated circumstances.
It was worth it. Refreshing in the night air.
After all today was the day I had planned for about a year now. It had a certain symmetry to it that I liked, today being my birthday. My family and friends had gone. Don’t feel sorry for me “alone on your birthday” it was the way I wanted it. At the time anyway, maybe not now. I’m sure they are happy now though. Resting…
The city lights pierced their way through the night sky, illuminating very little of what was beneath them, but instead giving me the kind of light I could only have dreamt of whilst dealing with those locks. That shouldn’t matter to me now, but somehow it does. The people below looked very small, but not like ants as some people might have described them, ants have purpose and routes. These people wandered around almost haphazardly, some briefly stopping to check their phones, light a cigarette. Others ploughed on through crowds with their heads low.
The ants work together. People even in groups could not be further apart.
Since my decision. I’d felt better. Now I’m here I almost feel euphoric. The lights are a bonus for now I feel like a rock star high up on the stage, invincible. Infinite. I move closer to the edge, the breeze pushing every inch of my body, willing me. Jump.